Faithful to the end

     I was not prepared to see how rapidly he'd declined in a matter of weeks. He couldn't string together a coherent sentence and he doesn't know who we are anymore. It pierced right through my heart and the tears wouldn't stop. A man who used to be 6' 1" with a booming preacher's voice has shriveled up and is skinnier than I am now. The pain of seeing Granddaddy today for the first time in weeks was reminiscent of seeing Grandmother in a similar state seven years ago. Why is old age so sad and cruel? This is something I've struggled with for a long time. It hurts so badly to see him confused and alone, to see his mind empty of all the memories and people and information it knew only a few years ago. It all feels helpless and just...sad. 

     Since he can't hear us, Mom took a whiteboard that we used to tell him things and ask him questions. She then wrote, "By grace you have been saved" to which he quickly replied, "through faith, and not by your own doing!" Well. Amen, Granddaddy. It hit me, while crying some more, that that is the beauty and power of walking with the Holy Spirit your whole life. When every other piece of information and every person's name leaves your brain, God's Word is alive and it lives in your heart. He was faithful to God. And even though he can no longer read the Bible and might not be able to pray, God is still faithful to him. I have no doubt that he'll hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." 

     He did it again, confidently finishing verses from Psalm 23. As we looked at each other amazed by how easily he knew those words, I thought about how really, that's the goal of my life. I just want to know God so well that I know His voice better than my own name. Chances are that my brain and body will fail one day, and when they do, I hope and pray that if I remember anything, I remember Words of Life. I don't doubt that I will - not because I'm trying so hard, but because God's Word is alive and powerful, cutting between our souls and spirits, and because the love and faithfulness of God transcends our finitude. He is faithful to the end.