The Good Shepherd

     In a Dynamics of Biblical Change class I'm taking, one of the requirements is to participate in a discussion with classmates every week. Upon first signing up for the class, I thought that this requirement was kind of dumb, considering I wasn't in the class to make friends, ha! But, it has ended up being one of the greatest blessings. Every week I get to talk to about 20 people who are far more spiritually mature than I am, and the words that they've shared have really encouraged me. One of them works in Jordan, another is a missionary in China. One is a 67 year old man who has done mission work his whole life! There's a father and son taking the class together who used to be missionaries in Honduras. One lady has been in prison ministry for years, another in youth ministry, a few of them ministering in Australia, some of them pastors or pastor's wives - the list goes on. 

     The discussion topic this week was metaphors (long backstory I won't go into), and we were asked to answer what metaphor we'd use to describe our own lives. Below is my answer. 

     The metaphor I keep going back to is the same one as Much-Afraid in the allegorical book, Hinds' Feet on High Places. I cried while reading that book because I felt it was written about me. Much-Afraid lives in the Valley of Humiliation and starts the journey of climbing a mountain to the High Places of the Shepherd with her companions, Suffering and Sorrow. Every step of the journey is a terrible struggle, walking with clubbed feet and deformed hands. She has to face all of her fears on the way up, often times stumbling, falling down, and getting hurt. When she cries out, The Good Shepherd is always patient and loving towards her. Just as she thinks she is almost to the top, she reaches more desert and dangerous mountains, which leads her to cry out in despair and fear. The Good Shepherd offers to plant the seed of love in her so that she would be able to dance like the deer, but the sight of the seed scares her. It's only after the painful planting of the seed that she has eyes to see change in herself.

     As her journey continues she matures, going from unbelief, to weak belief, to fully believing. Even though she looks the same, she knows that she is changed. She is given a new name by the Good Shepherd - Grace and Glory, and her old companions are replaced with new ones; Joy, Mercy, and Peace. She can then return to the Valley of Humiliation a new person, not afraid of Craven Fear, Pride, Coward, and others who seek to destroy her. She can tell them about her journey and the Good Shepherd, unafraid of them. 

     I identify with the metaphor of climbing a mountain. My sins are my clubbed feet, causing me to stumble and fall. Just as soon as I think I'm getting close, there's another mountain to climb, and I don't think I can possibly make it. I'm discouraged and fearful that I will never reach the top, but God is patient with me and always there when I'm weak and distressed. As I get closer to the destination, He's changing me and making me better equipped to face the enemy. The means He uses to change me are often scary and painful: trials I don't want, withholding something I think I need, sending me through a desert of some sort, etc. But much fruit comes from the long and painful journey. Not only does it change me from a fearful person into one that knows I have a trustworthy Father and a lost person into one with clearer life direction, but I become closer and closer to the Good Shepherd, coming to know Him better. The journey often feels lonely, and through that isolation I find out that the Good Shepherd is the only companion I truly need to survive. Sometimes I fall back down the mountain, but He doesn't leave me lying bloodied and bruised in the rocks. The blood is wiped off and sometimes I'm left with scars from the fall. But then, He gives me just enough strength to keep going. 

     The journey is long and slow, but there is progress - and I never journey alone.