A Hymn of Faith

Though the fig tree may not blossom, 

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food:

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls - 

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer's feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills. 

Habakkuk 3:17-19

     "A prayer from Habakkuk that might encourage you." A text from Mom with a picture of the above passage in her Bible. Bracketed and underlined with red pens, obvious that she had read those words many times. I received her text after having a pretty hard conversation together the day before. Crying and unable to communicate why I was so upset, eventually I summarized my anguish: "I just don't expect good things to happen in my life anymore." It's a thought that had been settling in my mind, mixed with sadness and tired resignation, for many weeks. I looked at my life - very blessed on the surface with friends and family and a home, but very discouraging on a deeper level with loss and disappointments over and over again. The sadness of realizing that I no longer hoped for or expected good things was only made worse by knowing that I should still have joy in the Lord, but here I was, really struggling to muster up any. 

     Mom was empathetic (by the way - do you know how much empathy means? We need sermons from people, but we need empathy, too) and said what I had already guessed; that I was going through a discouraging time in my life that many people experience. It's not rare to have these thoughts after a season of trials. That's comforting in a small way, to know that you're not crazy and that other people have walked through the same anguish as you. 

     A lot of our conversation is now a blur, and I wish I remember what all she said. All I know is that I came away with one feeble resolve: to have hope. Not hope that life will get better. Not hope that blessings will start to rain down on me. My circumstances and situations may not change. I'm not promised any material blessings in this life. He may choose to give me good things one day, but He may not. 

     I resolved to have hope in who God is. He is the God of my salvation and He's my strength. He's my tower of refuge, my anchor, my comforter, my provider, my protector, my Father. 

     It's painful at first, but eventually very freeing, to give up everything you want in this life, to acknowledge that you may never get any of it, and to truly believe that God has given you everything you need and everything that is best for you. 

     He is able to "do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think." My vision and expectation for life and what God can do has definitely been too small, and that is still something I have to remind myself of constantly. He is capable of doing anything and He cares about everything, even down to the details of my life. I find hope in knowing that. 

     But I don't want to put my hope in Him changing things. Things don't really need to change in order for life to be full of joy and hope. What needs to change is me. Eyes need to be opened to see the deeply wonderful blessings He has already given. Pessimism needs to be turned into optimism. A spirit of resignation needs to change into one of expectation. Waiting on things to happen or stop happening needs to be replaced with waiting on God.

     A note of commentary in my Bible says that, "Habakkuk's trusting expectation will not be crushed. Hope and trust transform his fear of the future into the desire to rejoice always in God his Savior." 

     Expectation that won't be crushed. Hope and trust. The desire to rejoice always. Habakkuk's prayer is called, "A Hymn of Faith." I am making it mine. 

"....that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge: that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19