The Misfits
Honest moment: I've spent a lot of time in my life feeling like a misfit. There are times when everyone seems comfortable and cool and I feel like my un-coolness has never been more obvious. Maybe it's not even the cool factor. Maybe it's cliques, and not being in one, or hearing about a party that you weren't invited to. It's not a fun thing to feel like you're excluded because you're not good enough. But, through the years there have been wise people (and of course the Bible) who've really helped give perspective and encouragement in this area.
I'm probably never going to be cool enough. I don't wear the right clothes or play the right sports or laugh at the right jokes at the right time. But, this doesn't mean I get a pass from pursuing others and conversing with them. It's encouraging to remember that even though there are people who are oblivious to anyone outside of their cool-friends-circle, I'm still 100% responsible for how I react and treat them in return. It'd be easy to think, "They don't even know I exist. I'm going home - at least my dog likes me." But, I've realized over and over again that getting left out is the perfect opportunity to treat them how I'd like to be treated. They don't want to talk? I can still wave and say hello anyway.
While being awkward and a misfit is the pits, it's opened my eyes to the realization that there are so many people out there who need a friend. What about the shy 12 year old who feels completely forgotten? What about the insecure 17 year old who has no one to talk to? I think we're so enraptured with our own lives that we forget people like them who might be aching inside.
My mom has been the ultimate encourager on this subject. By her words, yes, but primarily by her example. She never overlooks anyone. She will talk to rude people and awkward people and shy people and she genuinely cares about all of them and what they have to say. She never walks by someone without saying good morning or hello.
She doesn't do this because she wants people to like her or because it'll make her popular. She does it because she has taken the words of Philippians 2 seriously and tries to apply them to her life. ("Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.") I don't remember a time when she has not recited these words to us and instructed us to do the same. Two sentences. These two sentences defy everything human nature screams at us. These verses tell us that we should be selfless, to the point of loving on people who exclude us.
To sum it up: getting left out, ignored, or forgotten has the remarkable ability to change us for the better. If I'd never been hurt in this way, I would probably be oblivious to anyone going through something similar. Going through situations like these gives us an awareness and compassion for others, and a much needed reminder to always look out for the interests of those we're around. There may be people right under our noses who are feeling hurt and alone and who desperately need someone to be kind to them.
And just hours after I had written this post, a quote came through my Pinterest feed and I thought it couldn't be more appropriate:
I'm probably never going to be cool enough. I don't wear the right clothes or play the right sports or laugh at the right jokes at the right time. But, this doesn't mean I get a pass from pursuing others and conversing with them. It's encouraging to remember that even though there are people who are oblivious to anyone outside of their cool-friends-circle, I'm still 100% responsible for how I react and treat them in return. It'd be easy to think, "They don't even know I exist. I'm going home - at least my dog likes me." But, I've realized over and over again that getting left out is the perfect opportunity to treat them how I'd like to be treated. They don't want to talk? I can still wave and say hello anyway.
While being awkward and a misfit is the pits, it's opened my eyes to the realization that there are so many people out there who need a friend. What about the shy 12 year old who feels completely forgotten? What about the insecure 17 year old who has no one to talk to? I think we're so enraptured with our own lives that we forget people like them who might be aching inside.
My mom has been the ultimate encourager on this subject. By her words, yes, but primarily by her example. She never overlooks anyone. She will talk to rude people and awkward people and shy people and she genuinely cares about all of them and what they have to say. She never walks by someone without saying good morning or hello.
She doesn't do this because she wants people to like her or because it'll make her popular. She does it because she has taken the words of Philippians 2 seriously and tries to apply them to her life. ("Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.") I don't remember a time when she has not recited these words to us and instructed us to do the same. Two sentences. These two sentences defy everything human nature screams at us. These verses tell us that we should be selfless, to the point of loving on people who exclude us.
To sum it up: getting left out, ignored, or forgotten has the remarkable ability to change us for the better. If I'd never been hurt in this way, I would probably be oblivious to anyone going through something similar. Going through situations like these gives us an awareness and compassion for others, and a much needed reminder to always look out for the interests of those we're around. There may be people right under our noses who are feeling hurt and alone and who desperately need someone to be kind to them.
And just hours after I had written this post, a quote came through my Pinterest feed and I thought it couldn't be more appropriate:
"The funny thing is, nobody ever knows how much anybody else is hurting. We could be standing next to someone who is completely broken and we wouldn't even know it."
It's not always easy to be kind. In fact, sometimes it's very hard. It's something I struggle with a lot, and I've felt like a hypocrite several times while writing this because I fail at it weekly. But, I know that God can give any and all of us the grace we need to look beyond ourselves and our small worlds, even when it's hard. I pray that He would work through me and use me as a tool to bless others.
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