ABM
I used to (well, I'm still working on it) have a deep concern that I would end up in A Bad Marriage - bad meaning one where we didn't like each, couldn't communicate well, had lots of underlying hurts and issues. The way that marriage was talked about accumulatively left me with the impression that A Bad Marriage happens to you. You can't help it or stave it off. And so I had a great deal of fear that that would be me; that I would be a victim of ABM. The Lord has been teaching me that I haven't been right about that. He's pointedly showing me that ABM does not just happen to you. Contrary to the ways that I've perceived the topic, we have far more control over what kind of marriage we are in than I was led to believe. Every day - every time I open my mouth, really - I lead my marriage in one of two ways. I can either make choices that are life giving, that contribute to or deepen our friendship, that build trust. I can speak sweetly and honestly. I can com...
